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Gardening Cooking Humor – Collection of Jokes and Funnies

Every now and then, it is fun to just let your hair down and enjoy a bit of gardening and cooking humor.

These graphics and jokes are a way for us to lighten your day. Life should not always be too serious. The Gardening Cook agrees.

So we have made a collection of some of our favorite sayings and jokes. Some are witty, some are inspirational and some are just plain fun.


Feel free to pin our sayings to your boards on Pinterest. If you use the images in any other way, please include a link to this page.

Vegetables on a bench with garden sign.

Gardening humor

I feature both gardening advice and recipes on my website. Let’s start with some garden humor first.

planting on couch

I’m going to do some gardening today. I have decided to plant myself on the couch!

common sense

Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.

Sign in a garden saying Weeds for sale, pick your own.

Gardener wanted – must look good bending over.

More gardening jokes

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. – Doug Larson

My wife’s a water sign. I’m an earth sign. Together we make mud. – Rodney Dangerfield

A weed is a plant that is not only in the wrong place but intends to stay. – Sara Stein

I have no plants in my house. They won’t live for me. Some of them don’t even wait to die, they commit suicide. – Jerry Seinfeld

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing. – anonymous

Cooking Jokes

Time to switch gears and head to the kitchen for some cooking humor.

lucky charms joke

This is one of those mornings where I will be picking the marshmallows out of the lucky charms and throwing the rest away.


Today’s tasks 1. Go to Pinterest to look  up that one recipe. 2. OMG I have to pin everything! 3. Cook nothing.

with with meals

A meal without wine is like a kiss without a cuddle…

the baker

A good baker will rise to the occasion. It is the yeast he can do.

health humor

The key to eating healthy: Avoid any food that has a TV commercial.

cooking porn

Cookies and porn are always better when they are homemade…;)

skinny cook

Never trust a skinny cook!


Do you have a favorite cooking or gardening joke? Please leave it in the comments below.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are "affiliate links." This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive a small commission from the sale, but the price is the same for you. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."